Lamentish

I headed into the stay-at-home orders with a wonderful new book to read, gifted by a caring, mentor-like friend of mine. Its a book that, after reading the first chapter, (or was it perhaps the forward) you know you’re going to grow, deepen your passion, and emerge in a new form. A better one. A more enlightened one. Surely I want to emerge just as much as the next butterfly. I want to be a better person in every way. And the manual is right here in my two hands. So why is it that I have not had my usual self-discipline to continue reading, digesting, page by page, chapter by chapter, one revelation after another till the end?

Over these months I’ve purchased a couple of interesting books and have also received another two good ones as gifts so why, when I have more time on my hands in this season, can I not set aside the time to read?

I love to read, always have. Some super fond childhood memories were made at the sprawling public library with the stately marble facade located in our hometown. Our mom was one of very few working mothers we knew of and her career meant she had to be creative at times with childcare arrangements. As a result we three sisters spent many wonderfully carefree hours there at the library. The enclosed reading garden off the children’s wing was a favorite spot to get lost in a tale of adventure or mystery. Our collective love of books was fostered within those very walls.

So whyyyyyy? I have indeed achieved a few other personal milestones during these months of homestay but that has yet to include the completion of reading a single book. There’s a lament in my soul about this. A why that has no answer. I mean, its tolerable like a low grade fever, but like one of those, you prefer that it go away so you feel well again. Maybe that’s at the root. We’re all trying to carry on even though the entire world is not well and won’t be for a while longer . . .

This little lament will now abruptly end with a promise to review Ann Lamott’s book, “Bird by Bird” once I’ve turned the very last page of it.

That is all.